This blog is dead - well not dead; more like "lovingly preserved." Think Snow White and the Seven Necrophiliacs. Anyway, if you want to read more writings by the Pope who wrote what you are reading (I love excess words), go to my Livejournal. There, they limit my name to fifteen lowercase characters; as WilliamTWodiumtheEldest is twenty-three, PopeWilliamTWodium is eighteen, William_T_Wodium is sixteen, and WilliamTWodium has uppercase letters, my account name is williamtwodium. All the ignorant shmucks will think my name has a number in it. Grr. No matter; it does have a number in it: twenty-three. Observe:

W i l l i a m T W o d i u m t h e E l d e s t

Pope William T Wodium, Lord of Odium, Poo-Bah of Podium, Sultan of Sodium, Prince of Rhodium, and the Eldest of that Name

Also, five:

William T Wodium the Eldest

Lord of Odium,
Poo-Bah of Podium,
Sultan of Sodium,
Prince of Rhodium, and
the Eldest of that Name

Where was I? Oh, yes, the livejournal. The first post of this blog is the real first post of that journal; "this journal began before it really existed." Heh. I amuse myself too easily.
- posted by Pope William T Wodium @ 12:07 PM

 
Once again, I indadvertantly write a blogspot entry somewhere else, only to transplant it after the fact; this was a reply on the College Roomies From Hell!!! comic discussion board. I decided to leave out the context, so you'll just have to trust me that this wasn't completely random:

I hid my face in shame once. It was fun. I taped a kleenex "tissue" to my temples by the top corners and walked around doing things like normal (I even got drinks and drank'em) while trying not to bump into stuff or step on things. I did pretty well, actually. People would ask me, "What are you doing?" (in a tone I'm quite used to by now), and I would say, "I'm hiding my face in shame." Some would just say, "Oh," and walk away, but others would ask the crucial question - "Why?"

"No reason. I'm just hiding my face in shame."

Good times.

Actually, come to think of it, you "just have to trust me" on everything you read here, don't you? I could make up entire truckloads of horseshit and you couldn't tell it from the truth. I have yet to decide whether or not to mix in random fake entries once a week or month or so just to keep my relatives on their toes; however, until I announce such an intention, go ahead and assume that I'm being completely honest. It's more fun that way.
- posted by Pope William T Wodium @ 6:49 PM

 
This blog really began before it existed; here are its fetal stages, in the form of emails all sent in one night. The addresses have been changed to protect the innocent (or guilty, as the case may regrettably be.)

Email the First
Date: Sun, 14 Dec 2003 16:34:28 -0800 (PST)
From: "Scott William T Wodium Horton"
Subject: I was just feeling . . .
To : "Shaun Horton"

I've come to the conclusion that all moods, all emotions, are equally good, have the same value in experience; therefore, that I need not persue any one emotional state, or strive to feel any certain way. Too be happy is good, but no worse to be angry, or sad, or lonesome, or calm, or contemplative, or excited, or intense. "I am the child who walks by himself, and all passions are alike to me." I am still myself, no matter what color my mental state, and happiness matters not to me. "But still I am the cat who walks by himself, and all places are alike to me." That story didn't occur to me as an illustration until after I began writing; I came to this thought through my own experience.

It is a strangely liberating conclusion; yet, I don't feel elation. Curious. I like it.

Toodles,
Scott William Horton
Pope William T Wodium the Eldest
Grand Caliph of California, until that deceased personage tracks me down and takes his title back


Email the Second
Date: Sun, 14 Dec 2003 21:30:54 -0800 (PST)
From: "Scott William T Wodium Horton"
Subject: My latest "private message"
To: "Shaun Horton"

I fill your inbox like a spamming feind! Mwa-ha-ha!

So I get an email in my Inbox. I read it; it says

Hello Pope William T Wodium,

You have received a new private message to your account on "The
Nightstar Zoo" and you have requested that you be notified on this event. You
can view your new message by clicking on the following link:

http://zoo.nightstar.net/privmsg.php?folder=inbox

Remember that you can always choose not to be notified of new messages
by changing the appropriate setting in your profile.

--
Nightstar Zoo Administration
http://www.nightstar.net
irc.nightstar.net,


Okay. So I look at my private message. It says:

From: Pope William T Wodium
To: Pope William T Wodium
Posted: Sun Dec 14, 2003 8:16 pm
Subject: You have no life
Why aren't you doing something useful? Nimrod.



I feel like Calvin; myself from four hours ago is telling me something. The thing is, it's true. Here's what I've got for my Jane Eyre questions so far:


[Here I attached the document, along with two cards I made for an online game of One Thousand Blank White Cards. Perhaps I will show these to you later, gentle readers - and so the writer planted the seeds of later plot development even before the very first chapter. Well, not chronologically before, but perhaps you'll know what I mean later. Anyways - ]

Email the Third
Date: Mon, 15 Dec 2003 00:47:31 -0800 (PST)
From: "Scott William T Wodium Horton"
Subject: This is spam
To: "Shaun Horton"


Poseidon


?? Which Of The Greek Gods Are You ??
brought to you by Quizilla



I avoided all the beach answers and I still got Poseidon. I'm genuinely curious - are you surprised?

Toodles,

Poseidon

[I was obviously tired and/or careless, because I forgot to tell yahoo that I wanted that code obeyed rather than displayed; I imagine the whole thing makes me look rather silly. Oh, well - if I minded that sort of thing, I suppose I'd be irritated. Yes, of course - and if it rained, something would get wet. One must mind his conditional statments lest they get away with saying nothing at all.]


Email the Fourth
Date: Mon, 15 Dec 2003 00:59:54 -0800 (PST)
From: "Scott William T Wodium Horton"
Subject: Why you talk to yourself
To: myself - yahoo.com

Get a livejournal. Soon. Maybe a blog. Yes, perhaps a blog. Tonight? No. Well, maybe later. You need to learn to type faster, otherwise you may lose some of your thoughts, or get so caught up in trying to type what you have that your flow of thought stagnates. Your thinking needs to be one step ahead of your typing, always, but not two steps - that's too far (not two far - that's three steps). That way, you can stop flooding Shaun's inbox whenever you feel the need to write electronically. It might even assague your forum needs to an extent. Who knows? Get a blog - soon.

I'll be seeing you,
Me

[This next email hasn't been written 'till now. Dates may differ from what the delivery service says. Who are you going to believe - me, or the automated mailman? Makes no difference to me - you decide.]

Email the Fifth
Date: Mon, 15 Dec 2003 02:00:59
From: "Scott William T Wodium Horton"
Subject: For want of a Livejournal
To: Shaun Horton

my thoughts were lost - well, not lost, exactly, but shunted into my Sentbox (and your Inbox) instead of into the Livejournal where they belonged. Therefore, I've created a Blog at popewilliamtwodium.blogspot (I'm not certain of the rest of the address, but you are), and as my first entry, I'm transcribing the five Emails That Should Not Have Been that I wrote tonight while changing the addresses to bad witticisms and variations on "Censored." With hope, this will cut down on the 193k messages in your Inbox and on the miscellanious clutter in my head.

[I intentionally mispelled that word, by the way. That's just how I am.]
- posted by Pope William T Wodium @ 1:26 AM